The unstained kimono

At the wonderous 2nd-hand kimono store in Kawaramachi-Sanjo, my favourite shop in Kyoto.


Elise in her coat of many colours


All for less than £15! I have been strong and confined myself to just two purchases:




Actually, this one is getting pretty stained. I shall be found wearing it on the eve of my 97th birthday, face down on the chaise longue, in a pool of absinthe, vomit and macaroon crumbs.


15 minutes spent in this shop makes this clip from Christopher Guest's second-best film entirely plausible:

Nipponbashi Street Festa, Osaka

Known as Den-Den Town by the locals, this huge street lined with electrical goods stores is closed off for the day for the Cosplay festival.


This is a chance for the kids (and adults who should know better) to express themselves through fancy dress. Costumes of choice range from manga/anime characters to maids, pirates, puritans and wanton schoolgirls (more on those below).


My favourite hair of the day





Finding some small children to frighten





My kind of stag do


Um, yeah...


If the Power Rangers were sexy







Yes, this is what happens when you send your kids to school six days a week









It's Mr Burns as a schoolboy, minus the ringlets and lollypop!



Crossdressing is a common theme in Cosplay









Cowgirls and tentacles

Osakan revels

To drink sake, one must never pour one's own drink, and one must give and receive with both hands. Robbie and Dan illustrate these principles below.


Me, cheerfully izakaya hunting in Namba, in the rain, followed by the very poor man's Gene Kelly.


Found in back alleyway in Amerika-mura. I have NOT licensed my name to this product. It is undoubtedly of inferior quality, and anyway, I only operate in South American sweatshops.


Flashy flashy


Tacky tacky


Fabulous all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ. The boys went all Neanderthal and insisted on doing all the cooking/serving. I wisely stayed silent and let the food pile onto my plate. What use is a hungry feminist?


And so, after an evening spent over-sharing your crimes and misdemeanours with your nearest and dearest, you miss the last train back to Kyoto and find yourself here, drunken, bloated and bereft, at sub-2am, at a pod capsule hostel.

These offer six intermittent hours of bleak Blade Runner rest in a surprisingly spacious coffin-like interior. Just close your eyes and pretend you're in Red Dwarf.

On the plus side, I no longer fear death. There will be porn and an attractive clock radio.

Nara

Now we've got those pesky deer out of the way, let's take at look at the rich cultural delights Nara has to offer.

Turtles basking in the sunshine

5 storey pagoda, part of Kofujin-ji, built 710AD

Kofujin shrine



Ukimi-do, a hexagonal gazebo on Sagi Pond


Note the large yellow dredger on the right.




Nandaimon Gate, which guards Todai-ji


I've become a bit blaise with temples n shrines of late, but Todai-ji hit the spot. It's the largest wooden building in the world (take that, Health & Safety officers) and was built around 728.
Check out the suspicious-looking businessmen swapping suitcases.


The giant gold-covered Buddah inside is 15m tall. Its eye alone is 1m across!


Twin guardians of the temple


Ahhh, terrifying. Rub a troublesome body part up against this guy and your ailment will be cured. I'll stick with the paracetomol.


The first signs of Spring!


Sorin. Used to be on top of a pagoda but now it's in the middle of the woods, just waiting for folk popstrel Florence + the Machine to come along and make music video around it.


Shin-Yakushi shrine, praising the Buddah of Medicine.


Should you choose to feed the demon deer of Nara park, you may purchase crackers here. They do warn you that you may not enjoy the experience.